IC Inbox/Private Line

[awfulsentimetal]

[Ring-a-ding if you need something!

The Spine is never without his phone. If he doesn't pick up on the third or fourth ring, something is definitely wrong. Or one of his brothers has stolen it. Or they're just making it impossible for him to answer.]

Comments

IC

[malfunctionbot]

Hey S-Spine? Ya there, big guy?

[awfulsentimetal]

'Course I am. Do you need somethin'?

[malfunctionbot]

Was k-k-kinda just wonderin' what ya thought o' that bird guy...

[awfulsentimetal]

... Which bird guy. [He hasn't seen anyone with feathers around...]

[malfunctionbot]

[Slight huff] Y'know! My bird guy. Malky.

[awfulsentimetal]

[Light dawns. Oh.]

Mister Iverwelling? I haven't talked to him much, but he seems pretty nice. Kinda high-strung.

...All right, kinda really high strung.

[malfunctionbot]

Yeah, even m-more than you.

[And that's really saying something.]

...He's always tryin' t' hang 'round me all th' t-tt-time.

[awfulsentimetal]

Hey! I'm not high strung, I don't have any strings.

[GEEZ.]

Uh... he's not tryin' to take you apart or anythin', is he?

[malfunctionbot]

That guy? There ain't no way! He c-c-can barely even manage t' use th' can opener without endin' up curled into a ball in th' corner an' cryin' all over th' p-place. Believe me. I've s-s-seen it.

[Remember when he was trying to open the cans by peeking them with his beak thing? Yeah.]

So no, I ain't worried 'b-bout that.

[awfulsentimetal]

[Oh, The Spine remembers. It's hard to forget someone that screams at the sight of you.]

...So what are you askin' my opinion for? Seems like you've got one of your own already.

[malfunctionbot]

I d-d-dunno. Cause yer g-good with these k-kinda things. [Buttering up the younger brother just to get something from him? Maybe.]

...He keeps s-sss-sayin' my name in his sleep.

[awfulsentimetal]

[Dead silence on the line for a loooonnnng moment.

He what.]

... That's, uh... that's interestin'. Maybe he just really likes, y'know, the flesh-and-blood kind and keeps dreamin' about being covered in'em. Or somethin'.

[Why him. Why him.]

1/2

[malfunctionbot]

[Muttering, but this is Rabbit, so it's incredibly audible to The Spine and everyone else who just so happens to be in his room.] --Shore likes t' be covered in somethin' if ya ask m-me...

[malfunctionbot]

B-but I just wasn't ss-sSS-shore what t' do 'bout it all. Got any advice f-ff-for yer f-favorite big brother? I ain't ever dealt with this k-kinda thing before.

IC

[doctoral_bird]

Hey Mister The Spine? Are you there, chap?

[awfulsentimetal]

Uh, yeah... [He wouldn't have picked up his phone otherwise.] Hello, Mister Iverwelling. Can I help you?

[doctoral_bird]

I was kind of wondering. What you thought of your brother.

[ Did he sound tense? A little ruffled? ]

[awfulsentimetal]

... Uh. I've got three of'em.

[He isn't stupid Malkus, he can totally envision what's going down right now. He does not like being in the middle of this spat or whatever it is one bit, nope.]

[doctoral_bird]

[ Slight puff ] You know which one! My roommate. Mister Rabbit.

[awfulsentimetal]

Mister... [Hooboy.] Listen, I don't know what you're callin' for, but I'm not gonna talk bad about Rabbit if that's what you're after.

[doctoral_bird]

Yeah, even mor- wait-

[ Wait he couldn't copy Rabbit's conversation at this point. ]

A-Anyway! He's always trying to sully my name! All of the time!

[awfulsentimetal]

I'm sure you're just readin' into things, Mister Iverwelling.

[Come on, Rabbit is a handful, but he wouldn't actually try to ruin someone's reputation.

...On purpose.]

[doctoral_bird]

I am not! A man gets his hood caught in one egg beater machine, and suddenly he's mechanically inept?!

[ It was the last time the doctor ever tried to repair the broken kitchen devices. ]

It's just puns and games with this fellow, all day!

[awfulsentimetal]

Now I never said you were inept! I'm just sayin'--

[Uh...]

That's just Rabbit bein' Rabbit, Mister Iverwelling. Nothin' to fret about.

[doctoral_bird]

He said it! W-Well I don't know, b-but he heavily implied it! I don't understand your modern linguistic slang and mannerisms!

[ He huffed, mumbling something like "saying his name in- my- that-" and huffing again! ]

Don't you machines ever sleep! All night, your brother looms over me like a haunting specter! What is it to be a "little spoon"?