IC Inbox/Private Line

[awfulsentimetal]

[Ring-a-ding if you need something!

The Spine is never without his phone. If he doesn't pick up on the third or fourth ring, something is definitely wrong. Or one of his brothers has stolen it. Or they're just making it impossible for him to answer.]

Comments

[awfulsentimetal]

Hey! I'm not high strung, I don't have any strings.

[GEEZ.]

Uh... he's not tryin' to take you apart or anythin', is he?

[malfunctionbot]

That guy? There ain't no way! He c-c-can barely even manage t' use th' can opener without endin' up curled into a ball in th' corner an' cryin' all over th' p-place. Believe me. I've s-s-seen it.

[Remember when he was trying to open the cans by peeking them with his beak thing? Yeah.]

So no, I ain't worried 'b-bout that.

[awfulsentimetal]

[Oh, The Spine remembers. It's hard to forget someone that screams at the sight of you.]

...So what are you askin' my opinion for? Seems like you've got one of your own already.

[malfunctionbot]

I d-d-dunno. Cause yer g-good with these k-kinda things. [Buttering up the younger brother just to get something from him? Maybe.]

...He keeps s-sss-sayin' my name in his sleep.

[awfulsentimetal]

[Dead silence on the line for a loooonnnng moment.

He what.]

... That's, uh... that's interestin'. Maybe he just really likes, y'know, the flesh-and-blood kind and keeps dreamin' about being covered in'em. Or somethin'.

[Why him. Why him.]

1/2

[malfunctionbot]

[Muttering, but this is Rabbit, so it's incredibly audible to The Spine and everyone else who just so happens to be in his room.] --Shore likes t' be covered in somethin' if ya ask m-me...

[malfunctionbot]

B-but I just wasn't ss-sSS-shore what t' do 'bout it all. Got any advice f-ff-for yer f-favorite big brother? I ain't ever dealt with this k-kinda thing before.

[awfulsentimetal]

[Yep, he heard that whisper all right, and he's certain anyone within earshot now has ideas about Malkus', uh, romantic inclinations. The Spine pinches the bridge of his nose and vents steam... right into the receiver.

When the static clears, he mutters an apology and clears his throat.]

Maybe you oughta, I dunno, ask him about it?

[malfunctionbot]

What would ya even ask in this kinda s-s-situation? What do I gotta s-say?

[awfulsentimetal]

I, uh... [Gosh darn it Rabbit, like he knows?!] Just take him aside and ask him what he keeps dreaming about. Say he's been yelling and you're gettin' worried. Somethin' like that.

[malfunctionbot]

L-last time I asked him, he didn't even answer me! Just k-keep on chattin' 'bout somethin' else completely.

What if he t-tries t' avoid th' subject again?

[Look how distressed your brother is, Spine. Help him out here, bro.]

[awfulsentimetal]

[He really, really, really would like to talk about anything else. Literally anything. Hey, so, about quesadillas...]

Then you let it drop and figure it's nothin' unless he says somethin' about it.

[malfunctionbot]

C'mon, S-Spine. [Steam hisses between the phone connection, the familiar noises of Rabbit's rattling chassis, head clicking to the side as a new tone rose up in the elder 'bot's voice. Some small hint of a plead.]

I know ya've d-d-dealt with this kinda thing before. Lotsa times probably! How d-do you deal with it without hurtin' any f-feelin's?

[awfulsentimetal]

[Dear Walter, why him.]

I can honestly say that I've never had to deal with someone dreaming about me and not saying anythin'.

[Come on, Rabbit, you've seen tumblr. You've seen the dream posts.]

[malfunctionbot]

But I know it's just g-g-gonna crush th' l-little guy t' know I ain't got no more autographed pictures t' make out 'specially for him.

[awfulsentimetal]

[...Wait, what. That's not... is that what Rabbit's worried about? Letting down a fan?]

Well, Rabbit, how about you draw him a picture instead?

[malfunctionbot]

[A beat. Thinking.]

...Ya think an original drawin' would be g-good enough for my biggest fan though? I don't wanna l-l-let any o' our fans down, 'specially Malky since he's a good pal too! A b-bit weird, what with all th' constant dreamin' o' our act an' wantin' t' spend all o' his time watchin' me perform, b-but a good kid anyway. I wish we had s-some shirts an' a free CD t' give t' him, but I guess a picture will hafta be good enough f-for now.

[awfulsentimetal]

[The Spine's relief is almost palpable. Oh, thank Walter. It is about letting down a fan.]

I think any fan of ours would be really happy to have one of your drawin's, Rabbit. Especially Mister Iverwelling. No one back home has one! It's the best gift you could give your biggest fan, don't you think?

[malfunctionbot]

I guess yer r-r-right!

See! I knew ya'd have s-s-some good advice for me, Spine! [Yep, somehow turning that into a point for himself, not for his brother.]

[awfulsentimetal]

[Honestly, he's so glad that this conversation has turned out to be less awkward than he'd expected that The Spine doesn't even notice.]

I'm glad I could help, Rabbit! Now why don't we go find you some paper and some crayons so you can get to drawin'.

[malfunctionbot]

Shore thing! [Aaand just hanging up cause whatever they will see each other in like two seconds anyway.]